Planking, Russian Edition
by December Writing Dragon
Summary: Ivan and Alfred indulge in a trend that's grown popular in Russia, and drag Francis and Arthur into the mix. RusAme FrUK oneshot.


Based around the sentence "Have you lost your damn _mind_!?" Yes, according to tumblr, what is described below is an actual thing. More notes on the bottom, but DO NOT TRY THIS.

 **Planking, Russian Edition**

"Have you two lost your bloody minds?" England spat. How old were they? Were these really the souls destined to embody two massive and powerful nations as long as that land existed? Were these the chosen wardens of massive lands?

"Hey, Artie! Glad you could make it!" America called down from his place perched atop the fire escape. Russia waved cordially from the window some feet above. Frances strode up to stand beside England, sliding his designer sunglasses from his eyes and taking in the scene with the attitude master chefs pour over a meal.

"I see you two have…made plans," he said airily. England spluttered in indignation.

"Oh yeah! It's great you got here. We need a third person and a photographer!" America said with a million dollar smile.

The scene before England was not one that warranted such a casual attitude, in his mind, anyway. Russia was leaning out of an open apartment window (his own window, England hoped) with a (completely unloaded) gun lazily trained on America who was clad in vibrant yellow boxers that stood out remarkably against the dull grey of the railing he was now hanging from.

"Da, you need to be there," Russia said, waving the barrel of the rifle in the general direction of a nearby open and vacant window.

"And why do I need to do that?" England said through gritted teeth. Weren't they supposed to all spend a calm normal day together before the meeting? Wasn't America the one who had harped on and on about all four of them not bonding enough?

"Because someone needs to be watching and making a dramatic pose," Russia explained as if it should have been obvious.

Apparently something in England's expression showed how unsatisfied he was with that explanation, because America quickly added "It's planking, dude! Russian version! This is a trend here. Wild, huh?" He threw Ivan a grin, which was responded to with a fond smile.

"Ah, the antics of love birds," France mused. He brushed some hair from his face. "We will gladly take part, dears. I take it I am on picture duty?"

"Oui, oui, Francy!" America whooped, letting go of the railing- England felt his heart freeze- long enough to give the thumbs up. Just as he was about to protest some more, France's hand flew into his pocket and fished out his phone.

"Alright now, Arthur, head on up and help these two love struck little ducklings," Francis cooed, looking through the phone's camera and trying to find a good angle.

England did not go quietly. Marching loudly and grumpily up the inside stairs, he decided in return for being forced into this foolishness, he should at least have some compensation. By the time he reached the floor where his window was, he had decided what to do.

"What is taking so long?" Russia asked, lowering the barrel of his (unloaded) rifle.

"Don't know, but hope he hurries up. He got lost or something?" America said from his spot on the fire escape.

"Nyet, I heard him come up the stairs-"

"Curses upon this intruder!" a crisp voice cut through the air. Russia leaned out the window and glanced over to find England shrouded in a robe that hid most of his face. Where had he…?

"Let's get on with this, come on, keep up!" England urged with renewed vigor, a devilish look in his eye. Down below, France was beaming with pride.

"Alright, everybody! Un, deux, trois…"

And so, in the album of England's phone, posted on Alfred's Facebook timeline, featured in Ivan's VK account, and mounted on the mantle of France's fireplace exists a picture featuring Ivan aiming at Alfred wearing nothing but boxers and climbing up a fire escape while England gestured dramatically at them in the middle of an incantation.

On cold dreary days France could be found sitting beside a roaring fire, caressing said picture with the fondest of smiles on his face.

THE END

AN: So, yes, this is apparently a thing. I don't have the post on hand right now, but I'm pretty sure it's floating in my favorites or under my Russia tag, but yeah, this has been referred to as Russian Planking, where the people in the picture do what is described here, except the person watching will usually be looking on in feigned horror (or not feigned, if they're not in on it? Since the original idea of planking plays off of people's reactions as well.) Again, do not do this.


End file.
